DANCING IN THE DISCOMFORT ZONE
Over the course of the few weeks, we will discuss Napoleon Hill's Think and Grow Rich, under a modern Benshen-esque lens. Though one might believe that wealth only equals money, “rich” expands beyond that; it means being able to create prosperity in your life, which can take shape in many different forms. Money is just one medium. Prosperity goes so far beyond financial gains and Hill, with his 13 Principles of Success and teachings on the Laws of the Universe, pioneered a unique roadmap to excellence and unlocking prosperity—one that focuses on how to program our mental faculties rather than lean on external circumstances.
In the last newsletter, we divulged the first Law of Success: DESIRE. With desire, we identify, bring clarity, and ignite a burning passion to our visions. We let go of what we or others think we *should* want and get crystal clear about what WE ACTUALLY want.
Desire is the antidote to apathy—it ensures we don't sit idly by and watch as time and opportunities pass. It's the fuel that allows us to be active creators of our lives, inspiring us to get out of our comfort zone, to make sure we get what we want, and garner courage to take the big risks necessary. Just because it inspires us to take the leap doesn't make it any easier; in a potent Abraham Hicks podcast episode, they specifically talk about the feelings of discomfort, discord, and unhappiness that arise as we step towards the “right” direction. The journey of getting what we want isn't linear, and isn't 100% joy and ease the whole way through. But don't worry, this is a good thing.
As we feel the pangs of discomfort and expansion, it only means we are refining what we actually want and experiencing the contrast of what we don't want in a visceral way. Moments like this can give rise to a deeper clarity of our vision, help us establish our value-exchange to others, and develop and set boundaries with the world. When we know what we don't want, we can more clearly define what we *do* want.
For example, maybe in the process of a job search, we go through an inspiring interview process and we don't get the role but through the experience we realize that we actually want to only work X amount of hours per week and for X amount of dollars. Moving forward, we have even more clarity around what we want and what we will not settle for. In this way, every experience becomes an opportunity for growth or to learn something more about what it is we want. Initially, it may feel uncomfortable to ask for this as we navigate our newly defined personal value point but remember—as we invite greater prosperity in, it is absolutely, 100% going to stretch us beyond our comfort zones. Why do we want to be stretched? Because everything we want is right on the other side.
As we move forward into the unknown, it's important to build up our defenses against the negative self-talk and doubt that can arise as we face failure, rejection, or pivots in the path. (REMEMBER: REJECTION IS ALWAYS PROTECTION!!) We've got to stay focused on the feelings of the desire, and remember that the “how” we get it and “where” it comes from is not our business. Our only business is to declare to the Universe what we want, maintain clarity and excitement around our desires, use tools to combat the natural fears of pushing past limits AND have the right support system all around. Then, success will draw ever closer. But it's not easy; it's a practice. In this newsletter, we share tips that can help reframe the discomfort and instead, launch us into a practice of strength and clarity.
As we troubleshoot what has stopped us in the past from getting what we want, it's important to acknowledge that we'll be spending plenty of time in these liminal spaces beyond what we already know. However, it's in these uncharted territories where extra-ordinary things can happen beyond what we've ever imagined. Those moments where we aren't sure what the “right” answer is and we have no choice but to brave what's ahead. As Seth Godin says, “How do I dance with the fear? Fear is not the enemy. Paralysis is the enemy.” For the moments we go into the unknown and need to “feel the fear and do it anyway,” it's time to call upon tools beyond the physical world.
The natural tendency of our nervous system is to act like the protector. As we shift into a new reality that's more expansive and exciting than before, our mind might react to the waves of newness by, well, freaking out. But instead, we can use tools to prepare ourselves for new heights of prosperity by strengthening the nervous system to hold more energy. This is when meditation and pranayama (or breathwork) become a critical tool to create vitality and build internal stamina. That way, when we feel the resistance come up, when we naturally feel overwhelmed or that inkling to quit, we already have a reservoir of energy and an imprint of grit to keep us going. Meditation and breathwork are the keys to expanding our capacity to embrace change, grief, success, growth, loss, evolution, and transformation in all forms. Change is inevitable, and these practices may strengthen the nervous system and in turn, help us make sure we don't miss an opportunity to live life in its fullest expression.
Begin with your space; create a sanctuary anywhere (if you want to level it up, grab the cloud-like Walden meditation pillow, our newest obsession) and take three minutes in the morning or evening to grab some energy. Specific meditations can help build your energetic reserve to help you fly past your comfort zone—one of our favorites is called the One Minute Breath.
It's a simple yet extremely effective practice that helps calm the nervous system and bring balance to the entire mind/body system. It's called the One Minute Breath because essentially you build up your ability to breathe one breath per minute: inhale for 20 seconds, hold for 20 seconds, exhale for 20 seconds (20:20:20). However, start where you are; begin with 5:5:5 or 10:10:10. Pick a place and begin, using that ratio for a few days until your diaphragm begins to relax and your lungs can take in more air over time.
HOW TO DO IT:
Find a comfortable seat
Close your eyes
Begin the One Minute Breath for whichever ratio you choose
Continue for 3 minutes
To end: inhale deeply, hold the breath for a few moments, and then exhale.
*Contraindicated for pregnancy - No holding breath when pregnant. Try long, deep, slow breathing instead.
MUSIC: We love to do this practice to Birjiwan's Delta Aura
The One Minute Breath is actually known as a Prosperity Meditation—the deeper we breathe, the more connection we have to ourselves and the more we can begin to attract exactly what we need. For more practices like this, join our monthly Benshen course; our September course is now open, with a focus on “business and pleasure” and the connection between sexual energy and our life force. In September, we'll use practices like these to help powerfully uplevel past comfort zones.
One of our favorite quotes from Bob Proctor is “When you change the way you look at something, what you look at changes.” In many of his inspirational and motivational podcasts, he gives an exercise where he teaches us to write out whatever problem we are having on a piece of paper. Get it as detailed as possible. Get the problem out of you and onto the paper. This way, we can look at the problem or challenge objectively, as if a friend were looking at it. He even suggests to stand up, change seats and look at the problem from a different angle. Rather than looking at the experience from inside of ourselves, where many feelings or emotions tend to quickly arise, we can look at it from a bystander's point of view and quickly hear the whispers of solutions from our intuition as it solves the problem just as if we were giving advice to a friend. Next time a challenge arises, take a note from Bob: write it down on paper, put it in the middle of the table, change seats and see if we can tackle the problem from a different perspective. Even if you don't love the answers (similar to how we don't always LOVE the advice a friend gives us even when we know it's good…) try handling the challenge the way your intuition is telling you to and see what unfolds...
“...All achievement, no matter what may be its nature or its purpose, must begin with an intense, burning desire for something definite. Through some strange and powerful principle of 'mental chemistry' which she has never divulged, Nature wraps up in the impulse of strong desire 'that something' which recognizes no such word as impossible, and accepts no such reality as failure.”
— Napoleon Hill